You have made the decision to grow your own vegetables. It's a lifestyle and health choice. You want the best for your family and there are no shortcuts on the way. Good for you! So now you've got all these wonderful fresh vegetables growing in your garden how do you get the kids to eat them? We should be eating 5-9 servings of fruit and vegetables a day. Many adults don't get the full servings required and you know the kids are getting a fraction of that.
If you've got problems getting vegetables into the kids, try a few of these strategies...

-Start them young with a wide variety of tastes. If you get them between 2-4 years of age you're more likely to capture them for life.

-Set a good example. If you snack on fruits and veggies, then your children are more likely to follow your lead.

-Try to prepare interesting after school or between meal snacks. I used to prepare a selection of cut up fruit, dried fruit, raw vegetables and two squares of chocolate. Okay, the chocolate always went first, but then they moved on to the good stuff to fill up.

-Keep mixing it up. Prepare new types of vegetables or prepare them in different ways. Let them try just a small bit. If they don't like it, fine. Just keep serving the stuff up.

-Never make your dinner table a battle ground. It's not worth it. If they are not forced to eat something they hate, they are more likely to continue trying different foods.

-When all else fails, disguise it. Shred some carrot or zucchini into pancakes or hash brown potatoes. Blend vegetables into soups, pasta sauces or on pizza.

-Involve them in the process. Take them shopping and let them pick out the veggies. Have them help plan and prepare the meals. Get them into their own gardening project!

-And for something really left field, try this sweets recipe.

Vegetable Fudges
I know it sounds really bad, but it's really good! It tastes like a veggie free zone, so if you really feel like you have to sneak it into family and friends, do it with dessert!. Different vegetables and fruits can be used in this recipe to vary it. You can add apple; chocolate; carrot; beetroot. Try your own varieties and see what happens. The base recipe is this:
3 heaped tablespoons of butter
2 cups sugar
1 x 400g can condensed milk

Prepare a greased square slice pan or dish. Heat the butter and sugar very gently and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Add half a cup of finely shredded fruit or vegetable, then add the condensed milk. Stir constantly and keep the heat low or your mixture will burn. After about 20 minutes your mixture will be bubbling throughout. If you want to add chocolate at this stage, you can. Six squares of cooking chocolate should be about right. Once it's completely blended throughout, pour into your dish and let it cool. Cut into squares and enjoy! Don't despair, just keep trying. You know that you're serving the best tasting vegetables on the planet when you grow them yourself organically.
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It is good to remember a family is an organization. In fact, it is the basic organization of society. This is just one of the reasons I am such a proponent of family meetings. You wouldn’t think of running a successful business without a plan, goal setting meetings, team building sessions and clear missions and expectations. As such, everyone in the family should have an equivalent of a job description. Each person’s job description helps him define his roles and responsibilities in the family.

Just like in the workplace, the clearer the job description and the more input is solicited from the participant, the more ownership is established. If you have ever worked in a workplace where no one knew what their job was day to day and rules were arbitrary, you will recall how chaotic and frustrating it was for everyone. The following information on structuring a family council has been compiled in part from information contained in The Parent’s Handbook by Dinkmeyer & McKay, as well twenty five years of personal experience.

WHAT IS A FAMILY COUNCIL?
A family council is a regularly scheduled meeting of all family members. Its purpose is to make plans and decisions, to provide encouragement, and to solve problems. It is very much like a team building or staff meeting held in the workplace. Plans and decisions made during a family meeting remain in effect until the next meeting.

FAMILY MEETINGS PROVIDE OPPORTUNITES TO:
• Be heard
• Convey positive feelings about one another

• Give encouragement

• Distribute chores fairly
• Set goals for the family unit and assist in personal goals
• Express concerns, feelings, and complaints
• Settle conflicts and dealing with recurring problems
• Plan family recreation
• Have fun

GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE FAMILY MEETINGS;
• Establish a specific weekly meeting time.
• Rotate chairperson and secretary.
• Establish and stick to time limits.
• Make sure all members have a chance to offer ideas.
• Encourage everyone to bring up issues.
• Don’t permit meetings to become gripe sessions.
• Distribute chores fairly.
• Plan family fun.
• Use your communication skills. Use “I” statements
• Evaluate the meeting.
• Maintain an atmosphere of mutual respect and honesty.

TYPICAL AGENDA FOR FAMILY MEETINGS
• Share positive feelings about good things that have happened during the week.
• Read and discuss the minutes from the previous meeting.
• Discuss old business. Evaluate how assignments went for the week.
• Bring up new business (focusing on family fun as well as on plans and problems).
• Summarize and evaluate the meeting.

Agreements as well as logical consequences for not following through with assignments should be discussed and agreed upon by the family. All members should be encouraged to participate in family meetings as equals. Family meetings are essential if families want to build strong relationships. Good luck and God bless. You do the most important work in the world.
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Every year at back to school time, I see lots of kids that come down with what I call Back to School Phobias. Here are 3 types of Back to School Phobias and what to do about them.

1. The But Summer was Just So Much Fun Phobia
Some kids have a hard time adjusting to back to school because they have had such a great summer. If I child has been on lots of trips, or even just one great trip, it's difficult to get used to homework, having to sit in ta seat, etc.
What to do: Time and consistency is a critical factor here. While it is important to be attentive to the upset, you need to hold them accountable and keep them going each day until they get used to it.

2. The You Mean I Actually Have to Study and Work Now Phobia
For many bright kids, their school experience so far has been all they have to do is show up and pay attention to do well and get good grades. There comes a time, however, when you have to begin to apply yourself by actually studying and working. This can come at any time, age and grade level.
What to do :No need to panic, this is a natural thing. Make sure the kid knows that this is normal. Make sure the student has study skills, and if they do not, teach them.

3. The Genuine Phobia
The real thing often begins with either a bad experience at school or an anticipated bad experience. One of the signs of a true phobia is that the fear is grossly out of proportion to the cause.
What to do: Identify the bad experience or the anticipated bad experience. Sometimes talking it out will lessen or eliminate the fear.

When the above does not work, it's time to get an appointment with the family doctor and to find a counselor that specializes in school phobias. Do this right away with actual school phobias, because the longer they go untreated, the harder it is to change.
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When he was six years old my son asked me, “Mummy, where do I come from?” and instead of reaching for the anatomy book, I pulled out the atlas instead. I knew his question was triggered by the school’s impending international day and not by the birds or the bees. “Well,” I explained, “I’m half Irish and half Italian, your Daddy is English and you and your sister were born here in Dubai.”

“Yes OK Mummy, but where am I from?”

My son is part of an increasing community of nomadic kids who are growing up internationally. Some child psychologists refer to such children as third-culture kids, or TCKs for short. The official definition of a TCK, also known as Trans-Culture Kid, is "an individual who, having spent a significant part of the developmental years in a culture other than the parents' culture, develops a sense of relationship to all of the cultures while not having full ownership in any. Elements from each culture are incorporated into the life experience, but the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar experience."

TCKs are usually the children of diplomats, military personnel, journalists, aid workers, academics or business executives who are being raised in a culture that lies somewhere between their parents’ native one (the first culture) and that of the country where they are living (the second culture). Many TCKs live in privileged situations, with subsidized housing and private schooling and this usually creates a space between them and the neighbourhood’s children. As a result, TCKs tend to integrate well with each other, but never fully penetrate the local culture.

Unlike immigrant children, TCKs know that their parents have no intention of staying long in the host nation and are therefore aware of their transience. Most even know precisely the time remaining on their parent’s contracts and whether these will be renewed. TCKs therefore don’t put roots down in a country, but in people and are attracted to, and easily form relationships with, others who have a similar experience.

Forging an identity when you are growing up in such circumstances can be quite complicated. When you ask expat children where they are from, they usually answer with a question, or several of them. “Do you mean where I was born or where I live now? Or do you mean where my parents are from or where my passport is from?”

Experts believe that a TCK cannot become or change back into a monocultural person. Parents of TCKs can return ‘home’ to their country of origin, but the children, enhanced by having shared life in their formative years with another people, will find the characteristics of many cultures in their very being. Acceptance of this fact frees TCKs to be uniquely themselves.

A website dedicated to helping TCKs and their parents states that, despite their lack of a ‘conventional’ background, TCKs are among the most adaptable, compassionate group of people around, but that parents are critical to helping them feel grounded. So, what can parents do to help? Tckinteract.net advises the following:-

Accept your TCK for who he or she is. Recognize that by your choice of career and location, you have made your child a TCK. Know that this is a good thing, and the benefits are numerous.

Understand that your child’s culture will be a Third Culture. Both you and your TCK will be frustrated if you attempt to make your TCK as American or German or English as you are.

Accept and embrace your child’s TCK experience. Help your child appreciate his or her passport culture but also the host culture(s).

Steven Rudder, an ex-TCK says, “Third Culture can be confused with multicultural and bicultural - but shouldn't. Multicultural is when somebody has been influenced by more than two cultures and uses parts of those cultures together. Bicultural is the same as multicultural, except the influence is from only two cultures. Both of these are very different from Third Culture. Third Culture is when a child and it has to be a child, lives in several foreign cultures. As TCKs grow up, they adapt and blend with one culture after another to the point where they have seen so many differences, that differences don’t matter any more, and what becomes most important are the similarities.”

TCKs are increasingly finding comfort in numbers. Global changes, an increase in humanitarian/aid programs, the growth of multinational corporations, larger embassy staff and ongoing military activity - are steadily increasing the number of expatriate families.
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When we hold our new baby in our arms for the very first time, most parents make a solemn vow that they are going to give them the very best start in life. We feel that they need to be exposed to every positive opportunity if they are going to succeed in life.

But by doing this, are we guilty of putting too much pressure on them? Recent studies have revealed that 20% of our children are suffering from such high levels of anxiety that they should be receiving psychiatric treatment.

Many parents have strong views on what sort of childhood is best for their little ones. They are determined that they should enjoy those early years and imagine them playing in the garden, building dens and hunting for fairies. Having fun is what they believe childhood is all about, not being force-fed activities.

They want their children to learn at their own pace, and develop their own tastes and interests. They would provide plenty of play-dough, paints, building blocks and dressing up clothes. But sad to say, life does not always follow the intended path. Within precious few years they find that their life is ruled by the clock and a calendar crammed with pre-school or after school activities. Both child and parents become stressed, over-stretched, overtired and over-pushed.

Why is it parents feel obliged to buckle under to 'fit in' with all the other families they know? It often begins when children start school. The so-called 'hot housed' children seem 'streets ahead' having learned a variety of skills from pre-school activities and classes.

This is where guilt sets in; 'have I neglected my child's development?' There children are happy, sociable, contented with a plethora of basic skills. But is this enough in today's highly competitive world? Panic sets in and parents feel that their children have to play 'catch up' - fast.

This is where misguided but good intentions can frequently cause problems.

Before they know it, parents have their children enrolled in as many after school classes as they can muster; swimming, dancing, gymnastics and art etc. The kids may appear to 'get used to it', but to what detriment to family and social life?

I have heard parents at the school door trying to arrange an afternoon slot when their children can just get together and play or go to a party. Sometimes the date has to be set weeks ahead because of all the packed diaries.

But there comes a time when children arrive home from swimming or gym, shattered. They barely have the energy to eat their tea and are too tired for their bath or bedtime story. You realize that these are not children feeling healthily tired after hours of play. The weary symptoms and short temper they are displaying are more akin to mental and physical exhaustion. They no longer have the energy to do the things they loved.

We have allowed our children to suffer this stress.

Hopefully this is when truly caring parents realize that in their effort to play 'catch up' they are actually taking a backward step. Once again guilt steps in and you wonder why you have done this to your child.

Take a look back on your own childhood. There were few or no distractions of 'desirable activities' so you learned to entertain yourself. (This is a skill which many children no longer possess and the reason, I often think, why they get into trouble when there is nothing or no one to entertain them.)

Reading was a pleasure not a wearisome task that had to be crammed in between other appointments. Remember the magical moments you planned for yourself; gathering friends to climb trees, make a den, act a play in the back garden. Activities that were special because you had organized them yourself, in your own time and at your own speed. You had the time and space to follow your dreams, but how can our children EVER do that if we don't give them the time and space.

Now I am not saying that there is no place for after school activities. I firmly believe that every child should learn to swim and be given the opportunity to follow a special talent. What I do feel is that we should keep things in proportion rather than trying to keep up with pressure we impose on ourselves through misguided guilt.

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